Monday, October 1, 2012

Calendar Countdown to the Apocalypse

Get it here while it's hot! I think I'll pick one of these up, they're going to be fantastic novelty items in a few years.

I can't even joke about it ironically....sigh.....actual familiarity with a subject sucks all the fun out of it. I wonder what it is about western European culture and it's wacky American offshoot that finds itself so obsessed with apocalyptic end times, enough so to co-opt a perfectly legitimate calendar from an entirely unrelated culture just to ascribe special significance to its effectively arbitrary termination/cycle date? After all, the end of the Mayan calendar to its original creator signified one thing: time to make a new calendar for the next cycle.

I think...correct me if I'm wrong....that the next big world-ending event to loom nigh after we get past December 22nd is the 2037 close pass-by of the 2004 MN4 NEO (near Earth object) that will no doubt lead to hillarious shenanigans my son can enjoy (and also hopefully myself at the ripe old age of 66).

In the meantime, I have an intense urge to find this guy, and forcibly shave off all his hair on national television while giving him a wedgie for the impressively anti-science, anti-rational thought show that is Ancient Aliens:

Seriously. Large Hadron Collider being a clear depiction of the Mayan (or Aztec?) Calendar? I'm eagerly awaiting the episode where he explains how ancient aliens brought us Michelin tires.

Y'know, I miss the good 'ol bad 'ol days of the Cold War, when an actual apocalypse was riding on the mental sanity of men like General Curtis LeMay. Now that was an era in which we could all validly place our collective terror of real annihilation.

So next time a wacky relative or friend goes off on a tangent about this (does anyone actually do that who's a real live person not on the internet?) link them this so they can fume and ignore it under the pretense its all a ruse to distract us from the horrible truth.

No comments:

Post a Comment