I think I can beat this dead horse just a bit longer, and here it goes!
Everything you and I feel negatively about the latest Star Wars....may be highly specific to our collective group of associated fans. We have internalized our Star Wars experience so tightly that the very nature of Star Wars is subject to our own deeply internalized expectations and beliefs about Star Wars.
The reason I state this is because, in the course of the last few days I've had exactly three kinds of conversations with people on multiple occasions. They boil down to the following types:
1. I speak to another old Star Wars fan, either a grizzled old Gen Xer or a feisty millennial. We chat about how Star Wars IX and maybe in general sucks in various ways.
2. I speak to literally every other person I know (mostly a lot of co-workers and relatives) who have no deep personal investment in Star Wars. They saw the movie and had a good time. They are unsure why I dislike it so much. One or two say they can see how deeply invested fans might have issues, but most think we're silly.
3. I speak to kids, my son and his friends, and they earnestly love the movie and mostly just talk about all the cool stuff in it they like. If the kid is unlucky they might have a parent who tries to control that narrative, but so far none of my son's friends fit that bill.
So: the lesson learned is: Star Wars is for everyone, and fans are deeply complicated, but maybe should not assume their internalized perceptions of the experience and series are actually universal.