In recent weeks I think I hit an almost unassailable wall. I have bailed on a Saturday game night (admittedly, family stuff dragging me away from it as well), but also because I was running out of steam as GM. I have bailed from as much else as possible. I am still running Wednesday night, but even there I am finding the old spark for D&D is gone. I am not even sure its purely a "5.5 is kinda meh" problem although that doesn't help. I need to get this campaign to an end so I can look hard at what to do next, and see what happens.
I've been fighting with periodic burnout for years, but this time around feels different.....a first for me to make active efforts to dodge out of GMing, something I have historically always enjoyed, but with this recent shift escaping from that responsibility is now now proving so enticing. I have bought some new RPGs of late, stuff I should be very excited about (Daggerheart, Cypher System Neon Noir, Batman Chronicles RPG and more) but I just can't find the motivation or interest to engage with any of it. I am finding most of my free time is subsuming into reading, both regular books and catching up on my comic and graphic novel collections. I'm just.....dang, I hate to say it....worn out on RPGs and gaming at the moment. It's weird. But maybe not so unexpected; I've run an average of two games a week now for most of this century, what did I expect?
Being a player doesn't even help! It's fun for a bit, but never really been the side of gaming I enjoy all that much. It does keep me involved in the friend circle, I suppose, but my sense of dedication as a player is paper thin; I find reading, playing a video game or watching a movie to be immensely more satisfying.
I'm hoping this is just a phase, and some time off will rest me up for a more productive GM future. But I also worry its a side effect of age, and maybe a general component of just slowing down a bit, with my interests and desires shifting focus. Deep down I am one of those introverts, and know that without effort it is very, very easy for me to sink into an isolation quagmire and that is not ultimately terribly healthy. I must ponder.....I am sure I am not the only one who has experienced this.
EDIT: I may not be giving D&D 5.5 enough credit for how much it impacts my desire to game. I just read Alexandrian's hot-take on Calibating Expectations with 5E and it really resonates with me as a clear enunciation of all the core conceits of this edition that just make it so much less fun for me.
For me, i just get analysis paralysis when I have too many RPGs I’ve bought and things that I want to run, but then the opportunity cost of choosing one means all the others don’t get played. Same goes for settings.
ReplyDeleteI also read that post from the Alexandrian and wondered how I could emulate 3e inside of 5e without running 3e. I have lots of 3e books, but character creation, the sheet, and combat calculation would just overwhelm my players. I haven’t ever run it, but I find it to be the most inspiring edition. The art and lore calls to me.
Analysis paralysis definitely plays a role. I also have wondered how to capture the streamlined qualities of 5E that I like with the granular depth of 3rd edition...I feel like there's a middle ground there someone could exploit, perhaps in a better way than Pathfinder 2E has tried to (I find PF2E is great to play but suffers from way too much balancing and hand-holding in design choices for my taste; it has no depth of flavor among PCs as a result. So over time it starts to feel very samey.)
DeleteHave you looked at any 3.x Character builders?
DeleteThere used to be a few good ones. Sourceforge still exists apparently at https://dnd3rd.sourceforge.net/ and I think there used to be a character generator for the 3.0 edition packed with the PHB, I might still have that disk somewhere.
DeleteTotally agree on Pathfinder 2e. In theory I would’ve enjoyed it, but my players didn’t enjoy the heavy requirement of perfect teamwork in order to win “balanced” fights. All the spells also felt so bland to me in the efforts to make sure nothing was more powerful than another.
ReplyDeletePathfinder encapsulates the very element of "Look how cool you almost are, but not really," with every spell or feat.
DeleteI took a long look at who I play with and what I was tired of playing about 3 months ago. Sadly, there was a player who I just couldn't keep at my table. I tried for a year but his absence has positively affected our group. I also told the group I need 3-6 months away from 5E or 5.5. We turned to Shadowdark and Castles & Crusades and now I'm ready to try 5.5. Nothing wrong with listening to your heart and taking a step back. This world is so stressful we need time to recover even from our hobbies.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I ran some Shadowdark recently for a short friday group and it was a lot of fun, very simple and "get to the point" in its approach. But you are totally right, I need to be up front with the players and tell them I need a 5E break.
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