The Myriad Ways Nostalgia Seeps In

 So I think I hit a nostalgia phase recently, and I realize now that there is a vast difference between "Nostalgia as represented by other people online," and "Nostalgia that works for me." To be more specific, I recently began thinking about what would be considered "nostalgic" for me in a sense that I understood....that is, wanted to engage with and liked in a way that felt like I was reconnecting with an old past I had all but abandoned. 

It's hard for me to feel nostalgia about D&D because, in the time I have been a gamer I have played D&D consistently across about six editions and numerous variants almost weekly now for close to 43 years. So D&D specifically isn't a nostalgia driver - its an old warhorse I can both rely on but also feel the need to give the poor old boy a break these days, as he's old and weathered.

I likewise have a lot of bygone hobbies that no longer "click" for me at least partially because the overall value of the hobby has now passed on to memory, or its dated in a unique way that makes it difficult to re-engage with. Sometimes its because the elements of the hobby that made it fun now seem a bit quaint, as I have moved on from it and developed more sophisticated tastes (for example: as a teenager I was fascinated with Transformers, but that was 40 years ago and I really don't care for them these days outside of mild amusement and perplexity at just how much that IP has polymorphed and warped over the years). 

There are sometimes hobbies I was so in to that I exhausted my interest, and now find that any rekindling of interest is mostly a mellow "reappreciation" of an old interest. I think of Star Trek this way, for example. Loved it - a lot- back in the day, will still watch any of the original movies and episodes on occasion, but otherwise have very little interest in what goes on in Star Trek now, or in seeking out, collecting, or obsessing over the Star Trek of yore. It's time has passed for me.

But, amidst all of this, I figured out what does click for me on the nostalgia scale: stuff I was really into in the very late eighties and much of the nineties, stuff I particularly enjoyed and then moved away from, often due to life circumstances, but never properly got back to. Sometimes its also because my moment of enjoyment was deep and profound, and the "thing" in question was ultimately left behind but not because I was oversaturated or done with the property, but because life conspired to take me away from it. I have managed to identify a few of these things, which I have been rediscovering lately and finding I am really enjoying getting back to these ancient, neglected interests. Specifically, here are a few:

Cyberpunk - Specifically Cyberpunk 2020, the most played game I ran in college that wasn't AD&D 2E, and easily one of the best gaming experiences I had back in the day. I moved away from it for plenty of reasons, none of which were because I was done with it, although later editions didn't tempt me back; we'll see about Cyberpunk Red which I am reading through again with an eye for seeing if it can recapture that zeitgeist of Cyberpunk gaming in the early nineties.

Image Comics from the Nineties - I jumped hard on the Image comics explosion in 1992 and stuck with it until time and money conspired to take me away from comic collecting following my move to Seattle in 1995. I have very fond memories of just how great, new and interesting it was to follow the various comic creators behind Image at that time as they constructed a new, interesting shared universe that was outdoing Marvel and DC at every turn. It fell apart eventually, but I only left it because I graduated and went off to Seattle to pursue some direction toward a career. I came back to comic collecting in 2012 and have stuck with it, but only recently did I begin to recollect various Image series from the nineties (all of my original comics have been long gone). Wildcats, Stormwatch, Grifter, Authority, Gen 13, Team 7 and many others are all a "best of" from  unique era in the nineties when creator controlled properties briefly made the entire industry quake in fear. Of these, Spawn alone is the one I have kept up with collecting so I don't need to bargain hunt at local comic shops and on Ebay for Todd McFarlane's angry hero from hell, but for the rest? It's proving to be a lot of fun to restore these lost collections, and even find the stuff that came out after I was forced to take a 17 year hiatus in comic collecting.

Unknown Armies - I played a lot of 1st edition Unknown Armies, and loved that edition. I was out of the loop by the time 2nd edition was released (it was too soon!) and now I've had 3rd edition on my shelf for ages. But that said, I think that either getting back to the original 1st edition or re-embracing the newest edition is another proper nostalgia itch scratcher for me. 

Pseudo-Nostalgia: Over the Edge - I actually loved reading all the Over the Edge books, and wanted to run it but never got the opportunity. I am now recollecting with exactly that intent!

Anyway.....these properties (and a few more I might write about in the future) have actually been ticking the nostalgia box for me. So now I think I understand how some people feel....maybe!